Archives for category: Body

Below are the things I wished I did as a teenager to make my dating life in university and in adult life easier. This was inspired by a post from all places, the manosphere (wisdom does exist there).

For men still in their teenage years, take note and research the below well:

1. Hear your parent’s advice and at the same time make your own plans and decisions. The older you get, the more you end up talking like your parents and the more that you find out that your parents were correct. For example, in teenage years, you think romance is the king in deciding who to stay with for long term relationships. In adult years, especially past 30 years old, suddenly factors that seem “old-fashioned”, like social economic status and your ability to get along with your potential spouse’s extended family seem very important. My guess is that your parent’s advice is good for you when you hit the age that your parents are at now. I would listen very carefully to my parents and at the same time navigate my surroundings carefully based on my understanding of the environment. In short, your parents are soft indicators of what would happen to do if you don’t make any changes (this may be good or bad depending on how good your parent’s lives are.

2. Hit the gym.  As mentioned in the Boron Letters, having strong arms is the easiest (compared to other ways like making a ton of money) way to avoid fights and for other men to respect you. For scientific nerds (I was one myself), the tipping point starts at bench press with 12.5kg dumbsbells, and at 17.5kg dumbbell bench press, you will be at comfortable region. Also, hitting the gym and running(in small amounts, not marathoning amounts) builds a sexy body (muscular and toned).

3. Do a sports/physcially hobby. One, you can only have reasonable time to do this before you have a steady girlfriend. Secondly, you will learn things that you cannot learn in another way. One of which is to learn how to learn physical skills.

4. Learn music or drawing. This is the way to develop your emotional quotient. This is important for your communication skills and for understanding women. It helps in your interpersonal skills. If learning music, more impressive first instruments to learn are piano, violin and guitar. I would avoid less mainstream instruments as my first instrument as that has negative social signaling effects.

5. Stop being concerned with what people think of you. For further explanation, read the explanation in Roosh’s original post. Also read Ribbonfarm’s article on losers, socialpaths and clueless. Being concerned with what other people think usually causes you to ignore your own material interests or buy into other people’s hidden agendas.

6. Learn to understand women better. This would be challenging as to my teenage self I would prefer to instead play video games, sports or hang out with my bros. Again the best way to understand is having female friends (not girlfriends) and then books. Dealing with the female members of your family does contribute to the understanding as well. This is where guys without sisters or who do not spend much time with their female family and relatives would be a bit handicapped.

7. Have a backup plan to earn a living. Nothing sucks like having a girlfriend to hang out (and do other things with) and have to shelve it because you are broke or because your job sucks up all your free time. I would read Steve Pavlina’s blog article, (starting with this article) and also maybe check out the location independent/lifestyle design scene (Link is from Location Rebel by Sean Ogle.

Research all the above and study it well.

 

 

This post is in the vein of the “Do This” directives proposed by Derek Sivers.

Steps:

  1. Find a convenient and affordable gym with a gym bench and dumbbell weights from 2kg to 10kg.
  2. Gain access or membership to the gym.
  3. Get your workout attire: t-shirt, shorts, socks and covered shoes (sneakers or cross-trainers or other shoes suitable for gym).
  4. Choose a fixed day and time of the week convenient to go to the gym. Call this the gym day.
  5. On gym day, go to gym and change to gym attire.
  6. Do your warm-up set. 1 set of between 2-10 repetitions using dumbells of the following 4 exercises:dumbbell bench press, dumbbell bent over-row, dumbbell shoulder press, dumbbell upright row. The weights of the dumbbell should be the smallest pair of dumbbells where you feel the slightest effort. If in doubt, start with 1kg or 2kg. The exercise should be done slowly with no jerking motion. Google and youtube for proper way to carry out exercise.
  7. Do your workout set. 1 set of between 2-5 repetitions using dumbbell of the same 4 exercises: dumbbell bench press, dumbbell bent over-row, dumbbell shoulder press, dumbbell upright row. The workout weight of dumbbell should be a comfortable weight where you feel some effort is needed but at the same time you can raise the dumbbells without jerking or with your arms wobbling. The workout weight of the dumbbells should be the same for each pair of the exercises. Dumbbell bench press and dumbbell bent over-row form one pair of exercises. Dumbbell should press and dumbbell upright row form another pair of exercises.
  8. At each session, try to increase your repetitions by 1 if you can. Do not force an extra repetition if you cannot.
  9. If your workout weight feels comfortable, you can increase the number of repetitions at the next workout. Once you can do your workout weight comfortably at 5 repetitions, you can increase the workout weight at the next gym session to the next set of heavier dumbbells.
  10. After your workout set, do your stretches gently.
  11. If you are injured during any part of the exercise, end the gym session. Restart the sessions when you have fully recovered and at a very light set of weights for both warming out and workout.
  12. If you feel a slight soreness during your exercise that feels like the onset before a muscle pull, you can gentle rub the affected muscles with your hand to increase the recovery rate. Stop that particular exercise immediately. You can do the next exercises if your body feels ok, if not you can stop the gym session.
  13. Continue the weekly gym session for one month to let your body get used to the training. After one month, you can increase the gym session to twice a week. Make sure to leave at least one to two days between the gym sessions so that your muscle can recover.
  14. If you are unable to the gym session on the gym day, you can do it any other day of the week.
  15. If you cannot to the gym session in a week or in two weeks, you can restart the gym session the earliest week you can. Start at a lighter set of weights compared to your last gym session as your muscles may have weakened since your last gym session due to the lack of maintenance.
  16. There will be a point where you hit a plateau where you cannot increase the repetitions or weights even further. Congratulations, you have reached the 80% of your genetic potential. If you wish to progress further, you can consult strength training coaches and books.
  17. You should see the results in about six months or earlier. It is ok to stop this program or go to maintenance mode (1 gym session once a week or once every 2 weeks) any time you want.
  18. Enjoy!